The End is Beginning and the Beginning is Ending!

By which title I mean that the labor process is in its very early stages, and so my pregnancy is slowly drawing to a close. However, the labor is...of course...only the beginning of an entirely new type of journey with this little one as a being totally separate from me.

I went in for an appointment on Friday the 27th and they told me I was 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated! I was completely thrilled because I haven't noticed any "activity" at all, so it was nice to get a whole cm under my belt (pun intended) without any discomfort at all. One down, nine to go! I have noticed some cramping since then, but it's not anything like regular or painful yet. It's encouraging to think that I might go into labor early, as I really want to meet this little person as soon as possible.

We're totally ready on the material end of things, except for a swing. The nursery is done, the baby's bathroom is 99% ready (we have a towel bar and toy holder to hang) and the baby has a closet and dresser full of newborn clothes waiting for it.

Physically, I am getting pretty darn uncomfortable. My feet and hands are fat and swollen, and my fingers ache a lot. I have carpal tunnel of pregnancy from the pressure on my nerves and my feet go numb really easily. It's nothing serious, it's just a relatively large baby blocking the blood flow in a relatively small person. It's difficult to get in and out of bed ...or a chair...or the car...anything, really. That isn't surprising, considering that I've gained FREAKING 39 POUNDS for my pregnancy. It's so hard for me to believe, especially considering that the midwives don't think this is a behemoth baby. They're estimating around seven pounds, which is relief when I think about delivering. However, it's also kind of like ...what the heck are the other 32 pounds???? Mostly jowls, sausage fingers, hobbit feet, and belly, as far as I can tell. :-)

Mentally, I think Tim and I are as ready as we can be for something that is going to change our lives. In terms of the labor, I'm practicing my hypnobirthing breathing and visualizations and I have confidence that those lessons are going to be helpful when labor starts. Tim has done some reading too, and I think he feels slightly less sure what his role is going to be, but he's good at thinking on his feet. He'll adjust to my mood, whatever it may be! Hopefully not TOO irritable or hard to deal with!

One disappointing development is that because of the H1N1 pandemic, no one is allowed to visit us in the hospital. The midwives are trying to put a positive spin on it, just saying it will be nice to have alone time for our family, but we're definitely a bit bummed out. We were looking forward to the visits to help us pass the hospital time. It's not like a hospital is ever going to be a truly restful place anyway, so you might as well have the fun of visitors and especially family. My mother in law was like "I have to wait three days to see the baby?!?!?" which we got a good laugh out about, but it IS a little bit sad.


In other news, Rocky is doing great. He is improving on his house training (thank heavens) and his obedience. He and Indy have a great time together, and he's really a lovable little chap. He has quite the personality, and is very insistent upon his schedule and his share (or more than his share) of the attention. I have no idea how the dogs will react to the baby, but I'm hoping their adjustment period doesn't take too long.

Our Thanksgiving was fabulously full of food and family. This was the first Thanksgiving we've ever spent with Tim's side of the family, and it was really nice. It was especially nice to see some of his cousins that we haven't seen for a while. Their kids are growing up so fast! It's a reminder to use to really savor each moment with our baby, because he or she is bound to change so quickly.

29 Years!

Well, I'm a year older now, although I don't know that I'm any wiser! One can dream.

My birthday was great. It was such a treat to have Kristin visit. She's a trooper...six weeks in Egypt, about 24 hours at home, and then she was off again to visit me in exotic Minnesota. That's love. :-) Tim was very sweet also, getting me flowers and a cake, despite the fact that he had ZERO free time leading up to my birthday. He woke me up on my birthday with somewhere around 29 kisses, which might have been my favorite present of all. And my friend Diana got me a cake as well, which we had at a gathering of friends here in Rochester. So there was a lot of cake, which is a great thing. And Diana got me a great shirt that said "watch out, this thing is about to explode" ..obviously referring to my belly. It was a trip.

In other belly news, it's a-growin'. I'm starting to get pretty uncomfortable with the extra weight and the strength and vigor of the baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm passionately grateful for a healthy and active baby, but it's starting to wear on me. Labor is starting to look very attractive. In fact, this very morning I discovered that my hands are swollen like a cartoon character's ...and my engagement ring is still on. I'm a little bit worried about this, and I'm definitely planning on wrestling it off asap. It seems like another sign that the baby is becoming ready for a life independent of me.

It's hard to believe that I've got 29 years on this little one. On one hand, it seems like an amazingly small amount of time and experience to be entrusted with preparing someone else for a lifetime. On the other, my 29 years have been rich with experiences and blessings. I hope that Tim and I are "ready" for this incredible joy and responsibility, but I'm not sure that anyone is ever fully prepared for it. I think it's something that we'll figure out as we go. And, as with most lessons, we will learn more fully ourselves as we attempt to teach our child.

I'm so excited to meet this baby. I can't wait to be able to hold our baby and kiss its little mouth and hands and just...KNOW...them. Right now, it's all possibility. It might be a girl or a boy, it might be a quiet and "thoughtful" baby, or a loud and rambunctious little one...it might be anything. Roly poly or tiny, a good sleeper (please Lord) or a cat napper...anything at all. The only thing I'm sure of is that the baby belongs with us and that we love him or her. We just can't wait to get to know this little person of ours.