Stand By Me

I'm sitting here with my glass of sweet tea (TWO wedges of lemon, thank you very much indeed) and listening to "Stand by Me". That was our song. THE song. The one that we danced to at our wedding.

In some ways it was an out of character choice for us. We love music and have no less than five TNT CDs with various clever titles. Nary an oldies song will you find on any of them. However, it was also perfect. Because we didn't want the trendy song of the moment. We wanted something classic, something that has stood, and will stand, the test of time. That's all we want for ourselves...to stand the test of time together, as a family, as best friends. So it was kind of...well...perfect.

That was five years ago. Five years. The funny thing is that I have no idea whether that is a short time or a long time. At times, it seems amazing to me that we've made it so far...five years! That's a significant chunk of our lives. And we've weathered some serious storms during that time...family divorcing, theft of our belongings (several times!), severe job dissatisfaction, the loss of beloved family members, financial woes....the normal tribulations of life.

But the great thing, the really beautiful and awesome thing, is that we've had so many more good things in our five years than bad. I can't even express how blessed we are in our educations, jobs, mentors, friends, and families.

And best of all, we have each other. Five years ago, I married my best friend. And he's still the first person in the world that I want when something goes wrong, and the first person in the world that I want when something goes oh so very right.

Somehow I keep learning new ways to love my husband.

First, he was my college love, the person that helped me enjoy my days at UNC to their utmost, by being a marvelous dancer and looking great in Carolina blue and being strong enough to fling me over his shoulder and carry me home when I drank too much. (Kids, don't overindulge in alcohol.) I loved him then mostly for his merry ways, and the fact that he fit in perfectly with my best friends, and his cute tush.

Then we became partners in the penny pinching world of graduate school in Boston. He helped me through homesickness and bestfriendsickness (I still have bouts of that!) and general real world tasks like purchasing my first pair of snow boots. (Filene's Basement in Downtown Crossing, $20, still work like a dream). We learned how to make meals on a shoestring budget, and find time to enjoy the freebies in our new city, and he could still carry me home when I needed it (Kids, wear your snow boots and not high heels when there is snow on the ground.) And then I loved him for the way that he was always there, feet firmly on the ground, ready to deal with any problem logically and swiftly. I loved him for being practical, strong, driven, and very warm on cold nights.

Then we got married. We made Philadelphia our home and made some big changes in our life. We had an apartment that we could take 30 steps in without running into a wall (I counted, that was a big deal for me, it felt so spacious!) We made the city our own...the Wissahickon and Manayunk and Mt. Airy while learning how to become true partners for life. I learned to love Tim as a husband. He supported me in every way possible...emotionally, financially, physically...you name it, he was there for me. He was able to carry my burdens and all of our really heavy furniture up three flights of stairs. (Kids, pay for movers.) I loved him for his patience, his ability to take change in stride, and for still being so much fun.

And now we are here, in his place, his original home. And I have learned to love Tim as a father. And out of all the things he's carried for me, nothing is nicer than watching him carry our daughter. We made this incredible little person together. What an achievement she is. (Kids, you're amazing!) And now I love him for how gentle and caring he is with Addie, for how deeply he appreciates our family, and for how hard he works to keep us comfortable.

Five years down, and may we have many many more together!