Five Months

My daughter, my daughter. She is a joy every single day. It's hard to believe that there have been five months worth of "days", but the calendar doesn't lie. The 16th of the month has come and gone, and the sheer all-encompassing wonder of how much I love this baby remains. Truly, "my cup runneth over".

I've just been looking back at some pictures of Addie's adventures thus far and marveling at how much change five months has wrought in our lives. From the very moment that I got my first positive test (after waiting so long!), I've been filled with profound gratitude for the existence of this special little person. And looking at her beautiful blue eyes and her precious chubby cheeks today gives me the same soul stirring, bone deep, heart overflowing sense of thankfulness and completion that I first experienced with that positive test and in so many moments since then.

At nine weeks, when Tim said "I see the heartbeat" and I found out that we weren't losing her after all. At twelve weeks, when the ultrasound tech said "your baby looks perfect". At fourteen weeks when I felt her move for the first time, over pasta at Victoria's. At twenty weeks, when I saw her precious little yawn and her imperious (already!) yanks on the umbilical cord. At thirty weeks, lying in bed with her cradled in between Tim and I and him laughing at being able to feel every nuance of her crazy midnight uterine dance sessions for the first time. On her exact due date, when I knew that we were really in labor and I was soon going to meet my little baby. The first time that I saw her face, through a haze of anesthesia and pain and simple relief to be alive after all THAT. The first time that I held her. The first, the first, the first....the first everything really. And the second, and the hundredth for some things. For most things. I guess I've nursed her hundreds of times at this point, and yet it still fills me with that feeling. I live in a state of love. This is a good thing. Adelaide is a good thing. She's made my marriage, my family, my life, my self...better. More.

All this, in only five months. Sweet, sweet baby.